NewMonolane raises $40M Series A led by Narrowpoint Capital to help you do less. Read the memo
All lanes operational. Joy degraded since 2019.
Do one thing.
Forever.
Monolane is the AI product manager that has strong opinions about your other projects. Pick a lane. We pave over the rest, then hold a small, efficient funeral.
No credit card required. No other projects permitted.
Your current lanes (detected: concerning)
- thelongway.aiLaunch mode
- windowsill-labFlagship (self-declared)
- Vibecrafting.aiNearly working
- Sorting TablePokémon, unashamed
- Probe gameBobiverse brain
- Career CompassShipped-ish
- Exp-lore.aiPre-gaming
- CockpitSpec exists
- The day jobFunds the habit
Awaiting your surrender.
Trusted by teams who used to have ideas
- Singular
- onepath
- NARROWLY
- Tunnelvision
- Monocrop
- blinkr
- Silo&Co
The trailer
In a world… where you have ideas
Forty-five seconds, sound on. Voiced by a real movie-trailer voice, cut to the word.
Grief engine
Kübler-Ross, at enterprise scale
Every archived project is guided through all five stages. Target time to acceptance: 9 minutes. Industry average: the rest of your life.
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
No grief in progress. Suspicious.
Platform
Everything you need to need less
An end-to-end narrowing platform, from first idea to final archive. Built for founders, PMs, and anyone who has ever been told to pick a lane by someone who picked theirs in 2011.
Lane departure warnings
Haptic, audio, and passive-aggressive Slack alerts every time you have an idea. Configurable from "concerned" to "disappointed."
Idea interception
Ideas are caught at the edge, logged, bagged, and sent to the morgue before they can reach a code editor.
Grief engine
Automated five-stage mourning for every archived project, with SLAs. Acceptance guaranteed or your sadness back.
Cross-domain quarantine
Pattern recognition across fields is isolated in a sandbox. Tree rings may no longer speak to incident data.
Registrar lockout
You own 41 domains. You will own no more. Card declines between 11 p.m. and 4 a.m. are a feature.
Copilot for the void
An AI assistant that stares back into you, on-brand and within budget. Powered by vibes, governed by a roadmap.
Single-branch mode
Git branch limit: one. It's called main. Like your one personality.
LinkedIn autopilot
Your headline is rewritten to a single noun. Recruiters finally understand you. You no longer understand you.
Objective: fewer objectives
One OKR, auto-generated, permanently at 0.7. Nobody can tell if it's good. That's alignment.
Lane audit
Performance reviews your projects didn't ask for
Monolane reads every repo, README, and 2 a.m. domain purchase, then delivers feedback with the warmth of a calibration meeting.
- thelongway.ai3/5Shows promise, which is concerning. The raccoon has more brand clarity than you do.
- windowsill-lab2/5Self-identifies as the flagship. So did the last three. Rating: aspirational.
- Vibecrafting.ai2/5Nearly working for an extended period. We admire the commitment to almost.
- Sorting Table1/5A machine that sorts cards into lanes. The irony has been escalated to legal.
- Probe game?/5A consciousness that copies itself and drifts. Please book time with HR to discuss whether this is autobiographical.
- Career Compass4/5A tool for choosing a path, built by someone who refuses to choose a path. Strong product. Tragic founder-market fit.
- Exp-lore.ai2/5Pre-gaming discipline noted. Gaming not yet observed.
- Cockpit0/5An operator console for managing many projects. Directly competes with Monolane. Recommend immediate termination.
- The day job5/5The only lane with health insurance. Do not touch. Do not look at it funny.
Lane departure log
Watching, always
Real-time detection of unauthorized creativity across every surface you touch.
live
- Monolane initialized. Hope suspended.
Controls
You're in control, technically
Granular settings, built with the same respect for your autonomy as a cookie banner. Go ahead, flip one.
Customer stories
Loved by people who no longer feel things
"Monolane helped me commit to my one product. It was a to-do app. It's still a to-do app. I am at peace, mostly because I feel nothing."
"I used to have nine projects and a pulse. Now I have one project and excellent quarterly retention."
"My therapist asked what I'm passionate about. Monolane answered for me. It said 'the roadmap.'"
Case studyHow a dendrochronologist-turned-builder went from 14 active projects to 1 in under a week, then relapsed to 17.
- −93%
- active projects (day 6)
- +121%
- active projects (day 7)
Compare
Monolane vs. your brain
| Capability | Your brain | Monolane |
|---|---|---|
| Ideas per week | 40, mostly at 2 a.m. | 0, guaranteed |
| Domains purchased impulsively | 41 and counting | Card declined |
| Cross-domain insight | Constant | Quarantined |
| Sense of self | Complicated | One noun |
| Fun | Yes | Roadmapped, Q3 2031 |
| Things that actually ship | Some | One. Eventually. Probably. |
Pricing
Pick one, obviously
Simple, transparent pricing for a simple, transparent life.
Single lane
$0/mo
One project. One idea. One personality. Peripheral vision removed, outpatient.
- 1 lane
- Lane departure warnings
- Community grief forum
- Your one personality, hosted
Merge lane
Most compliant$49/mo
Look at other projects through glass. Touching them schedules a 1:1 titled "quick sync."
- Everything in Single lane
- Read-only peripheral vision
- Idea interception, 24/7
- Priority grief routing
Ambition hospice
$199/mo
Abandoned projects kept comfortable in their final sprints. Repos archived to soft piano.
- Palliative commits
- Domains auto-renewed out of guilt
- Eulogies generated per repo
- A candle emoji in Slack, forever
Shoulder
Your career
For people who keep building anyway. Hazards on. Unsupported. Historically where everything interesting came from.
- Unlimited lanes
- No support whatsoever
- Occasional genius
- Frequent 2 a.m. domains
All plans include unlimited grief. Enterprise? There is no enterprise. There is only one lane.
Enterprise-grade narrowing
Audited annually by people who also only do one thing.
From the founder
The Series A memo
When I started Monolane, I had one goal: help people focus. I also had eleven other goals, but I've since archived them, along with four companies, a podcast, and a sourdough starter named Kevin.
With this round, we'll double down on our one lane. Our board has asked me to stop announcing new lanes in all-hands. I have agreed, in writing, in a doc titled "Monolane 2: the expansion."
Founder and Chief Lane Officer, also CEO of 13 other things (none of your business)
Changelog
v2.0Added grief. Users reported feeling things after archiving projects; we now monetize that.v1.9Raised Series A. Founder immediately registered three new domains. This is fine.v1.7Removed the "what if" button. It was being used.v1.4Deprecated cross-domain thinking after an incident involving tree rings and an incident-management system.v1.2Fixed a bug where users felt alive on weekends.v1.0Launched. Our founder started three other startups the same day. Not relevant.
Frequently avoided questions
Can I keep a hobby?
Yes, if it directly supports your lane. Gardening is permitted for agtech founders only. Painting is permitted if it's a pitch deck.
What happens to my archived projects?
They move to the Ambition hospice, where they receive palliative commits until the domain lapses. It never lapses. You keep paying.
Is Monolane itself a lane?
Monolane is our founder's 14th product this quarter. Please stop asking.
Do you integrate with my tools?
We integrate with exactly one tool. You pick it. We delete the others.
Can I cancel?
Cancelling requires starting a new initiative, which Monolane blocks. Checkmate.
What if my one lane fails?
Then you'll have failed with focus, which LinkedIn considers a win.
Your side projects won't archive themselves
Join 12,000 founders who finally stopped. Most of them are fine. Some of them are fine.
Start narrowing freeThe focus platform for people with range, built by a company with suspiciously much of it.
- Lanekeeper
- Grief engine
- Idea morgue
- Ambition hospice
- About (one paragraph)
- Careers: hiring for one role, forever
- Status: all lanes operational
- Terms of narrowing
- Privacy (from your own ideas)
- Cookie policy: one cookie
Monolane is not a real company, a real product or a real Series A. It is satire, built at Broken Branch in one conversation with Claude, after one too many people said "pick a lane." The trailer's voice is from ElevenLabs; its score was synthesized in code. Monolane cannot be held liable for products that were, in retrospect, the good one. "Focus" is a registered trademark of people who have already made it. We're all gonna die, but at least you'll die with a clear roadmap. Please keep building whatever you want. See what else got built.